i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
is wine microwaveable?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
