I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize