wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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