I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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