I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
