If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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