But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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