I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
