i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
