You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
