The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
