Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
