I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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