whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
