I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
