Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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