i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
