One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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