Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i just google imaged poop.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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