Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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