can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
