Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
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