I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
