I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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