So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
