OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
