I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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