I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
