I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
