I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
