I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize