An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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