She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
