I am puke
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
