what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
