I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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