I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize