therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
