it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
