So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize