Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
