Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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