I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
