...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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