why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
