Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
