instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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