Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
