My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my god I love twenty year old dicks
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
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