: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
