marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We need to feng shui this bitch.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
