Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
