"it" just moved
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
