Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
