Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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