nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
