Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
