No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
They took my balls.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
