The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
