Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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